From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random obscure games back into the light. This week, the animals may have gone into the ark two by two, hurrah, hurrah, but only one can be first past the finish line in this arcade racer.
Believer or not, everyone knows the story of Noah’s Ark in some form or other. Oddly though, people rarely bring up what happened next—the part where the waters receded, and to celebrate, God and Noah threw a sadistic sports day that makes Death Race 2000 look like Super Mario Kart.
That is canon, right? Huh? Oh. Well, there are cannons involved, if that helps.
There must be some good,…